Returning Home

The essence of all spiritual practice and psychotherapy is returning home. You might just notice for a moment what comes up inside of you with the word “home”.

What does home mean to you? How does it feel? What does your life look like when you are home?

Perhaps you notice a sense of contentment, warmth, belonging, ease. Maybe not — maybe home brings up feeling of sadness, grief, despair, loneliness, anger based in past hurt. You may notice a clear sense of longing to be home, even though you can’t quite say why or what home is.

There are a range of associations we have with home, and yet, there is a wisdom inside of us that says yes to home. We want to experience home.

The truth is, we already know home. It is our deepest knowing, in fact. However, we all lose touch with it through the process of living in human bodies and all of the conditioning that comes with it. Most notably, we develop a sense of “I” and “you”, and it is out of this sense of being separate from the world and each other that our most profound homelessness arises.

Most of us live in our thinking minds most of the time. As a little experiment, let’s pause and consider the question “When have I felt most at home?”. Don’t think too much about it or get caught up in deciding which experience is most “home”, just notice what comes up.

What is it about this experience that creates the feeling of home? You might pay special attention to these factors — are you in nature? Are you with someone you love? Are you heart centered or head centered in this experience? Are you focused on anything other than what is happening here and now in the memory? Is this experience more extravagant or simple? What is your sense of self like? Are you self conscious? What do you love the most about this moment?

My guess is that in this experience you are likely feeling very connected to what is happening in the here and now, your mind is receptive, your heart is open, you feel belonging, either with people or nature or yourself, there is a sense of simplicity, and you are not self referencing or self conscious.

This is your natural state, my friend. This is your home. It is right here and now, always. It is not outside of you. It is you.

The purpose of spiritual and psychotherapy practice is to remove the barriers that cover over this natural state of home. In doing so, we gradually deepen into fully inhabiting this natural state, and ultimately, living from it more and more.

This also means that our natural state is joyful. Because of this sense of separation, we experience the sense that we are lacking. So, we constantly look outside ourselves to fulfill our desires and needs. Of course, there are certain needs for food, shelter, resources, connection that we must look outside for. The problem comes when we look outside for that which can only be discovered within. It’s as if our whole lives we are looking for the sunglasses that are on top of our heads.

It’s so unfortunate because we are already perfectly whole. We contain all that we need for lasting happiness. We are already home, we just can’t see it. When we have faith in our essential goodness, we are able to be still and listen patiently because we know that the truth of who we are will naturally arise with the ripening of mind and heart. This is the key. Quieting our minds and opening our hearts.

It is simple, but incredibly difficult. I will share more about this another day.

With patience, persistence, and most importantly abundant compassion for yourself, you can do it, dear one. We all can.

Let’s return home together.